The Horrible Secret No One Really Wanted to Know
by Alpha-alien
Summary: MockingbirdAU/ It started with Ironhide. Then Ratchet and Bumblebee began acting funny. Optimus, Wheeljack and Perceptor now must find out if their friends are really their friends. /oneshot/


Reviews and such, yeah you know the drill?

I guess, if you haven't already, go read the other Mockingbird stories.

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><p>The Horrible Secret No One Really Wanted to Know<p>

It began with Ironhide. He was acting _different_. Strange. Secretive.

Not to be rude. It was wonderful he was taking care of Annabel. It was nice to see the two had gotten so close. The child had become attached to Ironhide that she insisted on playing with him every chance she got.

It was amusing how a mech who so frequently stated he hated sparklings was bonding so closely with a human child. Lenox even one said he had taken a photograph of Annabel sleeping in Ironhide's lap as the mech-turned-man had dozed off watching cartoons with the girl. Ironhide, upon realizing this, had stolen the evidence, claiming he would destroy it, his face as red as stop sign (though Lenox, as well as a few of the Autobots, have seen Ironhide smirking at a small picture on rare occasion - mostly when Ironhide thought he was alone).

In fact, most of the Autobots were surprisingly adapting well to being humans. Bumblebee, as Sam had put it once, was "boss" as video games; Ratchet learned he could juggle rather well, and could currently juggle five objects at once; Wheeljack and Perceptor, having not been detoured from their previous, and first, experience, had done some extensive research and became increasingly obsessed with roleplaying, pulling the others into weekly games; and Optimus, while he was terrible at it, took to drawing. No one could ever tell exactly _what_ he had drawn, but the results made great Rorschach paintings.

But after a few months, Ironhide had began to act secretive. He would sneak around, always at around one-thirty, and when he returned about two o'clock, he refused to tell anyone where he had been, keeping his face straight, eyes closed and cheeks red. A week went by, and Bumblebee finally decided to spy on the ex-Top Kick. When the scout returned, he was stuttering more than usual, saying that he found nothing out. After that day, both Ironhide and Bumblebee were acting different.

Three days and Ratchet had had enough, demanding Bumblebee to tell him what was going on. Bumblebee had obliged by taking Ratchet with him and Ironhide. The medic had fallen prey to this strange ritual.

Now, with only three remaining, Optimus, Wheeljack and Perceptor sat alone, in silence.

"What's gotten into them lately?" their leader wondered aloud.

"I read in the GM guide that an alien can take over your body." Wheeljack mused, Perceptor sighed.

"I highly doubt an _alien_ has taken control of our friends."

"What about, er-um, the government planing a mind control device into them?"  
>"I repeat, I doubt an alien, human or otherwise, has taken control of our friends." Perceptor glared playfully over at Wheeljack, who laughed nervously.<p>

"Guess that is rather silly - but what if they're _not_ our friends?"

"What?" Optimus looked over at the two, having only been half listening to their comments. "What do you mean 'not our friends'?"

"I mean, what if they got bot-napped and _those_ guys are robots! Or clones or something!" Wheeljack jumped up onto the couch. "Yeah! Sent to infiltrate our base to learn of any and all secrets we have! Soon we'll be next!"

"Improbable, but not impossible," Perceptor shifted his glasses back onto his nose. "But, how will we know?"

"Easy, Percy!" Wheeljack winked, "We test 'em!"

"Test?" Optimus was weary, knowing full well what Wheeljack considered 'testing'. That small cackle only furthered his suspicion.

[.0.]

It all stated simple at first. Sort of. Wheeljack said they were going to ask questions that only their real friends would know. Optimus and Perceptor agreed that this would be the most logical way to determine if they were fakes or not. However, when they managed to corner Bumblebee, Wheeljack began his interrogation.

"Bumblebee!"

"Ahh! Wh-wh-wha-a-at-t?" the small scout had squeaked, and began to sweat slightly. "O-oh. I-it's you g-guys. Y-you sh-shouldn't scare m-me like th-that. Y-you know I s-stutter m-more whe-when I'm nervous." he smiled, straightening slightly.

"He's right, he does stutter more when he gets scared." Perceptor looked up at Wheeljack.

"I w-wasn't s-scared!" Bumblebee's face began to grow red, and his stutter began to grow. "I s-s-said-d 'n-n-n-n-n'" he paused "'n-n-nerv-v-ous'!" Bumblebee squeezed his eyes closed, and curled his hands into fists while trying to sputter out his sentence.

"He's gonna explode! Run for cover!" Wheeljack quickly grabbed Optimus and Perceptor and pulled them quickly away, leaving a very red-faced Bumblebee behind, panting heavily, looking incredibly confused.

[.0.]

"We're going to _what_?" Perceptor was unsure if his friend was being serious.

"Water! If they don't react to getting wet, they're not real! Well, not real in the sense that they're robots or clones. If they melt, they're definitely not our friends." Optimus pinched the bridge of his nose.

"I can't, in the name of common sense, do this."

"But _Prime_! If they're not our friends, they could be endangering not only our existence, but Sam's! And Will's, and everyone else we've grown attached to!" Wheeljack looked at Optimus, the bucket of water hanging from his hands gave him the image of a child getting caught about to do something terrible. Perceptor didn't help the image by obviously struggling under the weight of his own bucket.

Optimus sighed. "Primus help us - I've no part in this!" he threw his hands in the air as Wheeljack and Perceptor looked at each other and smiled.

"I hope this works, 'Jack." Perceptor hoisted his bucket and the two men of science hurried down the hall. Optimus stood there a moment longer, before giving in and following.

"Something tells me I'm going to regret this."

[.0.]

"Go, R-ratchet!" Bumblebee laughed, holding a small ball, as Ratchet leaned against the counter top, juggling, his eyes glued on his work. The medic grinned over at the scout.

"No sweat. This is easier than repairing Autobots." Ratchet laughed.

Bumblebee's smile grew, as he turned towards the three who had entered. "Oh! H-hey guys!"

Wheeljack nodded, smiling. "Hi, Bumblebee. Ratchet."

"What's with the buckets?" Ratchet asked, quickly flicking his eyes towards the trio, before back to his work.

"Oh, er, an experiment! Right Perceptor?" Wheeljack looked over at his friend, smiling. Perceptor blinked, before nodding.

"Right! Experiment!" The skinnier of the duo smiled. Ratchet arched a brow.

"Experiment? If 'Hide knew you weren't working on turning us back to normal, he'd kick your - "

"I d-don't th-think he c-cares r-right now, R-ratchet." Bumblebee began to toss the ball into the air, catching it, "Annabel is k-keeping h-his attent-tion."

Wheeljack and Perceptor looked over at each other, and nodded. Optimus couldn't bring himself to watch, and closed his eyes. He heard the water splash and both medic and scout yelling out in surprise.

"_**What in the name of Primus was that for?**_" Upon opening his eyes, Ratchet was glaring at the two science-men, water dripping from every part of his body. Bumblebee seemed frozen his place, shivering, his eyes wide and looking forward. "Why I ought'a - _Get back here_!" Wheeljack and Perceptor took off, each grabbing Optimus by the arms. "_**Optimus! You better not have been involved in this or so Primus help me I'll dismantle you all!**_"

[.0.]

"Now what?" Perceptor propped his elbows on the table, resting his head in his hands, and looked over at Wheeljack. "They're acting like our friends, as well as real. What else can we do?"

"I'm thinking!" Wheeljack frowned, looking through a large book.

Perceptor groaned, and allowed his elbows to slide out from under him, and planted his face into the table."Are you seriously looking through that book?" Wheeljack looked up.

"Well, yeah. Why?"

"Why? _Why_? Wheeljack, that's your GM Guide!" Perceptor shot up, and snatched away the book. "You've been consulting this book for all those tests, haven't you?"

"Yes," Wheeljack raised an eyebrow. "What's the problem?"  
>"Problem? Problem!" Perceptor looked as though he would explode. "Wheeljack, I - you - we - argh!" Perceptor threw the book back at his friend. Wheeljack winced as the object connected.<p>

"Ow, Percy,"

"No! This is insane! There's nothing wrong with our friends! You're insane and so am I for believing you!" Perceptor crossed his arms, glared at his friend. Wheeljack laughed nervously, rubbing the arm his book had hit.

"P-percy, c'mon now!"

Optimus groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. These two were bickering like an old bonded couple. "Enough. We'll just follow them and see what they're doing." Looking up, the Wheeljack and Perceptor nodded.

"Why didn't _I_ think of that?" Wheeljack mused, frowning.

[.0.]

It was after one-thirty. Optimus, Wheeljack and Perceptor had somehow gotten lost.

"Seriously, where could they be hiding?" Wheeljack frowned, "We've been over the base three times!"

"They can't be far - maybe,"

"_Slaggit_, Ratchet!" Ironhide's yell was heard in the hall. "Not that tight!"

"Oh, be quiet! Honestly," Ratchet's voice faded, and Bumblebee's laughter took over.

"Shut up, Bee! _**Ouch!**_"

Optimus, Wheeljack and Perceptor followed the voices, and soon came across the door they were emitting from.

"Well," Wheeljack whispered, "let's go in."

"No," Perceptor hissed, "not yet!"

"I look fraggin' ridiculous." Ironhide muttered.

"You picked it out. Annabel said so."  
>"Because everything else looked <em>worse<em>!"

"I th-think it-t s-suits y-you, Iron-nhide."

"I said shut up, Bee!"

"What do you think's going on in there?" Wheeljack looked over at Optimus and Perceptor.

"No clue, but Annabel's involved."

"What could that mean?" Optimus frowned, looking over at Wheeljack.

"I remember a movie where a little girl wasn't a little girl," Wheeljack spoke. "She was like thirty or something."

"I remember that movie. It was weird." Perceptor frowned. "But I doubt that's the case with Annabel."

"What if she got kidnapped and replaced with -"

"No!" Perceptor snapped. "I'm tired of hearing your baseless theories!"

"But, _Percy_,"

"W-what are y-you g-guys doing h-here?"

The trio looked up, having not noticed the door openeing.

"What,"

"The,"

"Bumblebee?" Optimus looked at the young scout, a powder blue dress was over his normal clothing, and a matching bow was in his hair.

Bumblebee smiled. "Oh! I-I g-get it!" He turned, allowing the others to see inside.

Ironhide was being stuffed into a pink dress, with Ratchet - who was in a white dress - tying up a white apron on his back. Annabel looked up, placing a purple princess crown on her head. She smiled.

"Optimus! Wheeljack! Percy! You guys want to join my tea party, too?"


End file.
